Showing vulnerability dating
Weak is what we feel when we are in the process of resisting vulnerability. Best of all, vulnerability gives us the gift of owning ourselves, and not getting hooked by other people’s judgements, and attempted manipulations of us.
And we feel weak precisely because we are in the process of resisting being vulnerable. Some of us just spend our life pretending we are too good for that stuff. We judge the women who are more concerned with love and family life versus glamour and physical appearance.(Click here to take the quiz “How High Value High Status Am I on Facebook? Well, men are vulnerable too…they just don’t express it the same because they are naturally emotionally more narrow than women, or because, well, society doesn’t allow them more status if they reveal their emotions. I was about to snap back at him because I felt humiliated.
Because vulnerable people are more likely to see straight through man’s shit, and more likely to keep real friends, not followers.
But I stopped; something told me to wake the hell up.
My twenties have since been one long lean into vulnerability.
When we block our heart, we block the feelings as well, and when we open our heart it feels unnatural to be anything but joyous.
“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” ~Criss Jami Wanting to avoid pain and shield ourselves from it is natural—and, by the way, completely not possible, because as we close up to protect ourselves against pain, we also block out the light that reflects from it.
Despite our best efforts, the boundaries that we’ve built around our hearts to protect us from feeling pain, discomfort, and hurt are the very chains that keep us tethered to it, disallowing us from feeling the opposites—joy, love and passion.
Joe, on the other hand, was a little nervous about moving too fast, so he set boundaries to help us keep a healthy pace. I couldn’t understand why he would want to slow things down. Tess: I'm writing to you today to see if you have any advice on how to navigate a new relationship I'm in.
We've been friends for a little while and finally admitted to each other that we like each other, and we just had our first date.
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Yet if I’m honest, I know every relationship I’ve ever had, from my first real girlfriend at 16, has been hindered in some way from my inability to truly expose myself.